Your MVP is out. Congrats. Now the real work begins, and you’re staring at dashboards wondering why signups aren’t sticking, or why users vanish faster than free pizza at a WeWork.

This isn’t a growth-hacking listicle. It’s an autopsy. The MVP Funnel Autopsy walks you through the four places your funnel is quietly bleeding out: Signup (the front door fiasco), Onboarding (welcome mat or trap door), Retention (the revolving door), and Conversion (show me the money). Each section makes you fill in the real numbers, steps to signup, clicks to “Aha!”, Day 1/7/30 retention, conversion rate, not vibes.

Every section also names the founder lie you’re probably telling yourself right now (“we need all this data for personalization later,” “our product is powerful so onboarding needs to be comprehensive,” “we’ll figure out monetization later”) and hands you one specific fix to run this week.

This is for founders who’ve launched, have some users, and know something’s off but haven’t done the forensic work to find out what. You’ll walk away having identified your single biggest bottleneck and committed to one measurable experiment to fix it, not a redesign, not a rebuild, one experiment.

Stop building new features until you know where the current ones are leaking users. Do the autopsy first.